Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
17 year olds will be the death of me.
In a world where you don't want your phone to pocket dial your parents at 2 in the morning while you're running around Florida shitfaced, Droid does.
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Randomize
