is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
Her best friend sent her a random hate text and the song they played at her father's funeral came on the radio. I just got cock blocked by the universe
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
I have no idea why my husband is mad that I came home at 4 am & all I want to do is eat spaghettios. It's not fucking spaghettios fault.
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
Today I made my parents proud-spent the afternoon floating around in their pool drinking beer-which I would ask my nephews to get for me out of the fridge
Randomize
