woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
In other news, just had to pluck an ingrown pub with the pliers from my multi tool while sitting on the toilet at work.
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
Randomize
