I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Randomize
