My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
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