drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
do you have any idea why i woke up naked spooning my toaster?
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
Emergency! LinkedIn connected me to a hotornot hookup from sophomore year... slutty phase sphere has officially invaded grown up professional sphere. My illusions of interweb sexual anonymity have been exploded.
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
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