Non-Jews are for practice
You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
Randomize
