I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
I'm microwaving a frozen bottle of Two Buck Chuck while watching The Proposal with my housemate. I'm not sure what success is like, but I'm fairly confident this isn't it.
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
Well I can't message him and be like "hey I was behind you in CVS a month ago and I remembered your last name and DOB and looked you up on fb and added you so wanna hang out"
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
Would it be wrong to text my ex and say "congratulations on the new baby that you had with a stripper"?
All I remember about last st pattys day was I was in a bathtub with full bubbles, fully clothed, drinking out of a flamingo lawn ornament that someone cut a hole in.
he just fucked me for my cheese..
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
True college students do jello shots in the library
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