you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
Randomize
