Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
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