We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
Anyone would get lost in that field after that much vodka. Trust me... I kind of feel like superman considering I even made it home. Most people would've been face down in a random oilfield. Not this guy.
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
Randomize
