Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
i fell asleep last night with fifteen animal crackers in my mouth. rock bottom dude.
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
Nothing says "get your life together" better than waking up in a tub full of your own vomit. Twice. In one night.
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
Randomize
