I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
how was last night?
i woke up with my hand stuck in a jam jar with my keys in the bottom and a dog licking peanut butter off my boobs. you tell me.
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
I just woke up to my family in the living room watching our security camera tape of me last night talking to a stop sign in our backyard... How the fuck did I get that in the yard?
Randomize
