i should start naming my morning wood
great idea but wrong number
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
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