3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
I just woke up with streamers wrapped around me. Glitter in my hair. My fish are swimming in empty bottles of Barcardi. Helpppp
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
