we're blogging at a bar
Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
Randomize