I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
How so?
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
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