I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
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