Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
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