This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
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