he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
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