Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
Randomize
