she was so not down for the gang bang
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
Randomize
