I'm curled up in a ball on the floor of my office with the lights off. I hope no one notices. No more open bar. Woof.
I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
Randomize