It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
Randomize
