She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport.
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
To be fair, this is a tequila-while-rewatching-Benedict-Cumberbatch-as-Van-Gogh idea, so I don't know if it will hold up tomorrow.
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
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