Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
Randomize
