Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
Had dinner with a married woman but didn't have sex with her. Tweeted at Mike Pence to apologize anyway.
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
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