woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
Randomize
