I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
They just built a gym in the same parking lot as my favorite bar. Drunk me is gonna be so excited.
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
Randomize
