If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
why did I try to FaceTime with 311 last night?
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
Randomize
