he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
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