margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
Dude just walked up to me, gave me his number and said, if this number ever calls its my penis,better keep that one handy. I cant lie its the best pick up line ever, im calling his penis.
Randomize
