our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
you were passed out so I asked you what my name was and you opened your eyes and yelled "ricotta cheese"
no way
that's when i decided you were gonna be okay
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
Randomize
