It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
What should've been a 10 minute beer run turned into her having a 40 minute mental breakdown in my car while in the parking lot. She then asked if she could live at my house and be my girlfriend. Her finishing act was stealing my peanut m&m's.
Well, when a girl introduces herself as "stormy" and gets your number from her boyfriends phone, I'd say that your situation is to be expected.
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
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