You really coming over, don't trick.
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
My mom legitimately hired a private eye on me. DO YOU KNOW HOW EXCITING MY LIFE JUST GOT???
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
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