Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
how do flat chested girls get laid?
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
Randomize
