We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
My mom just bought me $200 worth of booze on the condition that I promise I won't have to go to rehab eventually
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
Legitimately sent a work email with "Hey, you kids, get off my lawn" as the subject line.
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
Breakfast sounds amazing but can we do IHOP instead? I have to pick up a Plan B pill and there’s a CVS next to it
Randomize
