I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
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