I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
Randomize
