How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
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