i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
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