laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
I told my boyfriend my favorite food was strawberry poptarts, now my email inbox is getting spammed with nude pics of him with his dick in a poptart box..
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
The barista asked if I wanted my drink wet or dry, but all that came to mind was farts. You have ruined me.
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
Randomize
