I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
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