thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
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