The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
So I wake up this morning with a bottle of dish detergent and a dildo. Good call on bringing those girls from community college.
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
Randomize
