It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
Randomize
