We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
anyone who says 'i love you' and then followed by 'im going to call the cops if you touch me' doesnt really mean the first part fyi
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
Don't you hate falling asleep on the couch with a glass of wine in your hand? It's like dreaming about peeing and then realizing you've peed the bed only stickier.
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