how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
Randomize
