Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
I need you to do me a favor and hide my sword from me tonight. I'm planning on drinking my weight in vodka and I don't trust myself enough to not run through campus screaming "I AM SPARTA!" You'll be saving me a mugshot as well as saving some innocent girls from tears.
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
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